Birds of a Feather
by inkheart9459
Summary: Miranda is used to things going wrong at shoots. She is after all a perfectionist and only the slightest thing can mess up everything. However, she's used to models or photographers being the problem, not a bird, and especially not on her shoulder.


prompt from crazybecat on tumblr: "At a photoshoot they called in birdtrainers, to use real birds for the photos. One of the parrots becomes rather infatuated with either Miranda or Andy, and it's quite the show when the trainers can't get the bird to cooperate, or leave his 'crush' alone. (Seriously, this happens. I have birds, it can be hysterical, and completely irritating). And at the end of the day Miranda/Andy is rather bereft at having to say goodbye to her new feathered friend." enjoy guys.

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><p>Miranda rubbed her temples. Photo shoots were loud enough, but someone had had the bright idea to include birds in this shoot. And they were screeching loudly adding to the cacophony and giving Miranda an even bigger headache than normal. She sighed. Honestly.<p>

Andrea appeared by her side. "Marco says everything should be good to go on his end now."

"Thank god he stopped throwing a fit then. Actually working during the hours we contracted him for, what a miracle." Miranda rolled her eyes.

The photographer in question appeared, camera in hand in front of the area he had cordoned off of low lying tropical trees and sand. "The birds, where are the bird?" He screamed.

A woman dressed in khaki shorts from one of Miranda's nightmares appeared carried in a few large cages containing a variety of colorful parrots. "Where do you want them?"

Marco flipped his hand. "Scatter them through the trees for now I'll have you move them if need be."

The woman waited until Marco's back was turned and then rolled her eyes. Miranda sympathized. Photographers were the worst kind of drama queens.

She set about arranging the bird and Miranda looked down at her phone again. There wasn't anything she could do now, no correcting of shots while Marco whined about his artistic vision. So instead she answered the few emails that had come into her account since she had last checked her mail in the car on the way to the shoot. She rather hated traveling to shoots, usually just leaving the job to Nigel, but this was a shoot that had already been scrapped once and Miranda was determined it would be done her way and so here she was on an island in the middle of the Caribbean surrounded by sand and parrots.

There was an extra loud screech from one of the birds. Miranda didn't even bother to look up this time, used to the noise already. Until there was the sound of flapping wings coming towards her and then she finally looked up to see a parrot coming right for her. She calmly put her phone down and just stared at the thing, willing it away. Running from the thing would only incite weeks of ridiculous gossip and Miranda wasn't about to have any of that.

The parrot for its part flapped its wings when it got closer to her, slowing down. It landed, very primly on her shoulder, turned itself around so it could look out towards the photo shoot once more, and stopped moving. Miranda turned her head just slightly towards the bird. She looked out again at the bird trainer who was focused on another one of her birds and getting it to stay in the tree.

"Andrea, go get that girl and tell her one of her birds seems to have flown the coop and landed on me." Miranda picked up her phone again and went back to work, aware of every set of eyes on her now. Let them watch for a reaction. She had been through more shocking things than a runaway bird.

The girl scurried off, hiding a rather large urge to laugh admirably. Oh, she was sure this would be the highlight of the water cooler gossip when they got back but she would make the story as short as possible.

A minute later Andrea returned with the bird trainer in tow. "Oh god, I'm so sorry." She immediately held out her arm in front of the parrot. The parrot didn't move an inch, only looked at her trainer like she was a rather boring piece of scenery. "She just likes to pick people sometimes and perch on their shoulders. I'll have her out of your hair in a second." The trainer took out a treat and held it up. The bird still didn't move.

Miranda sighed watching all of this. The photo shoot was being held up on account of a bird. Honestly, could this get any more farcical? Soon Runway would just be a common rag like Marie-Claire or Cosmo if this is how things were going to be.

"Sorry, this might pinch a bit if she catches you with her talons, but they aren't super sharp so you should be ok. She's just being stubborn today and there might not be another way."

Miranda waved her off. Whatever would get this spectacle to end could pinch however much it wanted.

The bird trainer pulled the parrot off of her gently. The thing screeched loudly at the treatment and squirmed a bit. The girl smiled at her again.

"Really, I am sorry, birds sometimes are even more temperamental than cats." With that she shuffled back off again to tend the rest of her birds, which had stayed obediently in place the entire time. At least some of them knew how to do their jobs.

The photo shoot continued mostly on schedule for a little while after that. Miranda checked her emails while checking in on the photo shoot now again, looking up, arching an eyebrow at the goings on, and looking back down. Nigel seemed to be catching anything and everything that needed to be fixed before Miranda even deigned to glance up. It was beginning to look like there was no reason she had even come on this trip. She could be back and Runway, sans some of her loudest and most distracting employees, getting a great amount of work done. She sighed and answered another email.

Fifteen minutes later, though, she glanced up and everything was most assuredly not taken care of. The model had just changed into something that she had most definitely not approved for this shoot. She squinted and looked it over. It had a certain amount of appeal to it, however, but something was…missing. She pocketed her phone and stood.

"Nigel," she said in her normal, quiet voice, that managed to carry throughout the whole shoot.

Nigel turned to her, eyebrow cocked questioningly. "Yes, Miranda?"

"Do you think that there's something missing from that outfit?" She gestured towards the model.

He hummed and nodded. "There is, but I can't quite put my finger on what."

Miranda heard another screech before there was a bird on her shoulder again. It was the same one as last time. She sighed dramatically. This time the girl was on top of things and chasing after it.

"Sorry, again, she just has a mind of her own." She reached out for the parrot, but the bird wasn't having it this time. Its claws dug in and didn't let go. Miranda winced in pain.

"Leave her, if she's going to be this much of a pain I have better things to do than be chased around all day by you trying to get a parrot off my shoulder. Some of us actually work for a living." She glared at the girl.

The girl shrank back. "Are you sure? If you give me a minute I'm sure I can deal with her. I mean, then I can put her back into her…" She trailed off as Miranda's eyes drilled into her. "Uh, ok then." She turned and fled back towards the other birds.

Miranda turned back towards Nigel. Then she paused, looked at the bird on her shoulder, looked back at the model, and then looked back at the parrot again. "Something green, bright green, since this is a summer shoot. Perhaps a scarf tied as a belt or a purse."

Nigel lit up. "I think we have just the scarf." He yelled for one of his minions who promptly found the scarf he had asked for and offered it to him. He tied it around the model's stick thin waist and stepped back.

The edges of Miranda's lips curled up. "It will do." She strutted back to her chair and watched the shoot resume.

Andrea walked up beside her in what she thought was a completely nonchalant way, but Miranda could read her body language easily. The girl was taking a picture of her. She should snap, ruin the girl for good for taking such a ridiculous picture of her, but she did nothing more than ignore her. She had a soft spot for the girl that wasn't worth thinking about too hard, not on the tail end of yet another divorce. Yet, from the way that Andrea was smiling at her phone, now lowered to a much more reasonable level, the soft spot may be mutual. Miranda didn't know what to do with that quite yet. She would think about it when they were two thousand miles away from New York and she didn't have a bird on her shoulder.

The bird picked that moment to nibble on her earring. She cast it a glare, reached up and pulled the thing back gently, and gave it a firm no. The parrot seemed to understand at least a little since it didn't attempt it again immediately. Miranda settled back into her emails and a text from the girls saying that the really wished they had come on the trip with her. Miranda smiled at that, but school days were school days, no matter how much time she wanted to spend with her babies.

The rest of the photo shoot went smoothly enough. The bird walked around, perched firmly on Miranda's shoulder. Miranda didn't mind since it was neat enough and hadn't messed up her shirt with foul body substances. In fact, the little animal was providing to be a wealth of inspiration when an outfit for the shoot just wasn't looking quite right, or a pose wasn't quite translation to the camera well. Miranda grew almost used to the weight on her shoulder, warming up to the thing that had once been only an annoyance. If she stroked the things feathers a few times, well, no one saw it except Andrea, so therefore no one could prove it.

All in all, the day had been a success as everyone started to break their things down for the day. The bird trainer packed up her birds and came for the one on Miranda's shoulder last. Miranda held out her own hand, which the bird hopped onto eagerly enough. She handed the bird to its trainer, feeling a bit lost without the weight of her on her shoulder. Miranda frowned. She was not sentimental about animals. Except perhaps she was, but there was no evidence to prove that either.

"I suppose I can trust you to take proper care of her even if you can't properly keep her in her place." She arched an eyebrow.

The girl nodded rather fervently and accepted her bird, carefully putting her back into her cage and shutting the door. "Of course, of course. It an honor to work for your shoot, Ms. Priestly."

Miranda nodded, hiding the wince as Ms. Priestly. Honestly, anyone with a lick of sense knew not to call her that. The girl hurried off with a quick goodbye hands once again full of bird cages. Miranda frowned. The twins had been bothering her about a new dog for a good long while. She loved Patricia, she did, but the last thing their household needed was another dog. Miranda refused to think of anything under forty pounds as a dog. Those rat like mutts were far too yippy. Perhaps instead of just brushing them off next time she would suggest something like a parrot. It didn't seem the birds were so bad after all. Of course it would only be for the girls, never for her. But if the thing happened to land on her shoulder, well, she couldn't say she would object.

"Andrea," she said, walking to the car. "Find me the name of a reputable bird vendor within the city, preferably one dealing in parrots."

If Andrea was surprised, she said nothing but her normal, "Yes, Miranda."

And if they did so happen to get a parrot variety that could learn to speak, Miranda was not going to teach it to say that's all, not at all. And she certainly wasn't going to set it loose on new second assistants to scare them with her signature phrase. That would be just cruel.

"Oh, and make sure of my reservations for the one restaurant the twins like when we get back. That's all." She smirked to herself. Well, they did call her the devil in Prada after all. What was a little cruelty in the face of that?


End file.
